How Selfish Can I Be?

Just another day at the supermarket. Lately I’ve been wondering why they make me feel like a cheap, selfish bastard every time I pile up my goods.

Cashier: Would you like anything from our special sales?

Me: No thanks, just what I’ve got here.

Cashier: OK. Would you like to donate 5 shekels to children with cancer?

Me: No, but thank you.

Cashier: How about beaten wives?

Me: Nope.

Cashier: Rape victims?

Me: Nah.

Cashier: Severely autistic kids?

Me: Mmm, don’t think so.

Cashier: Severely retarded?

Me: Don’t think so, no.

Cashier: OK, how bout 5 shekels for cystic fibrosis, then?

Me: Nah.

Cashier: Multiple sclerosis?

Me: Nope.

Cashier: Lou Gherig’s?

Me: No Mam.

Cashier: Will that be cash or credit?

Me: Credit.

Cashier: Have a good day, sir.

9 Responses to “How Selfish Can I Be?”

  1. December 3, 2009 at 11:34

    You are too kind. If the severely autistic kids want Christmas presents, they should get a fu**ing job.

    (Aaaaah, the holiday spirit is upon us…. :))

  2. December 3, 2009 at 21:43

    but Ami, something was missing. where was her “do you have a club card” question? i just looooooove that question…
    and yes, you were too kind to her. i stop smilling after the second question and thats it – no more questions.

  3. December 4, 2009 at 01:25

    Actually Ami, I’m surprised at you. Maybe it’s been too long since you worked in a customer service industry?

    • 6 shmookty
      December 4, 2009 at 07:52

      True, Jodi… very true. Actually, I used to throw the exact same questions at my cafe customers. Maybe that’s why I had to sell… hmmm

  4. December 12, 2009 at 13:15

    While this post doesn’t EXACTLY refer to the subject of this post of yours ( clever and entertaining as it always is !),just wanted to share a bit of the cultural clash we all here encounter from time to time or more often…
    I’m a moshavnikit ( moshav-what began as a co-operative agricultural settlement all those years ago and is now rapidly becoming a suburban country-ish retreat whose residents are being bled dry by the Local Authority) who by and large enjoys the chumminess of my long-time neighbours including the makolet (local store) owner and the originally Yemenite,always cheerfully helpful local Post Office Manager(ess).
    Anyway, I just renewed my Australian passport,a process that requires ID photos to be endorsed by a selected range of suitably titled public servants. So out of that elegant list which included doctors, judges and other eminent persons, I decided to approach said Post Office manageress.
    Because the written endorsement of my photo had to be in English, how amusing and bewildering (for her) it was as I stood there trying to figure out how to be best transliterate her very Yemenite surname..should it start with an “ayin” or an “aleph” ?
    I can also just imagine some suited and tied Canberra( Australia’s capital) civil servany’s frown of disdain when trying to decide whether to reject the application as the endorsee’s address did not include a street number.When I asked her about this she waved it aside insisting there isn’t one-“everyone” knows where it is – even an Australian civil servant located in Canberra?
    How I have come to love that casual attitude, especially as I remember being so sniffy about it when I first arrived.Know what I mean ?

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December 2009

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